During last term, I have dealt with an issue in my heart about accepting the fact that God truly loves me. As I was struggling with this, one day I started thinking about that perhaps God would show His love in a way that I could understand, which means that I would be probably able to understand His love in a way that I understood from my earthly father. So, I was trying to think about how I recognized my dad's love and then, I remembered that I recognized his love through his material provision while I was living at his home.
As soon as I realized this, I kind of told Him to give me money to show /prove His love to me out of my frustration because dealing with this issue again wasn't really fun. I was actually a bit ashamed of going through this issue again as thinking about how I have been walking with Him to teach His words, His love to others.
Next morning, I was in class and learned about God's approach to us in His love, which could be the ways in 5different love languages as if God was confirming my thoughts above. It made me pondering more of how I could feel or receive His love in my heart on that day... That pondering thought came to a conclusion on that day that one of my love languages could be 'giving and receiving'.
And as I was about to finish the busy time of the day and about to enter my house, I was trying to take off my boots. While doing that, I realized that I have been feeling something in my boots all the long, which I was thinking that I should get ride of that. I shook my boots and the next moment, I found myself not being able to believe what I was looking at... It was a 500kr (Swedish Krona) bill falling out from my boot. I was thinking perhaps someone accidentally dropping it in my boot at first thought. But after thinking over where I took off them and placed it last time I realized that it wasn't possible, which I came to a conclusion of someone putting it to my boot on purpose as a blessing. So, I had to check the other boot, which I found another 500kr bill falling out... As soon as I saw that second bill, I was being reminded of that I actually prayed or told God to prove His love to me by giving money to me not too long ago, just a day before.
It was something that God was almost ready to show or prove His love to me. Actually this event broke some strong hold of my heart, which caused me not be able to accept His love deeply in my heart. God's love is just so amazing!!!
