Fall in 2009

This is our staff and students for the school of Biblical Studies in 2009-10. It is so awesome to see that they are so hooked to studying the words of God!

After coming back from Korea, I worked only half time with the school since I needed to take some break after my surgery.
I have taught the book of Acts in the school and done some coaching and grading during this fall term, as well as helping with the preparation for the 2nd and 3rd term of SBS. Other than that, I have tried to take good care of myself to get better soon. But I have realized that something just takes some time.

Sarah(one of SBS staff; she is on the picture below)'s grand parents offered me to rejuvenate myself at their Villa Apertin for a couple of weeks. It was a great blessing time!
















Eunkyung and myself had a birthday dinner served together by wonderful friends since our birthday was just one day apart from each other.

I was so blessed by many people who remembered my birthday and have blessed me in many different ways while I wasn't really remembering the exact day.

The biggest birthday gift for this year is from God, taking an IBC in Kona, which I explained a bit more about it in detail on my previous blog.

Wondeful gift!!!

All I can say is “Thank You Lord”.

He has given me a wonderful gift to me, which I couldn’t even take it with a great joy at first because it was just beyond my ability to comprehend or handle. So I have struggled for about 2months to take it for myself.

About a bit more than 2months ago, It seemed that He was pointing me to do an IBC (Introduction of Biblical Counseling) in Hawaii as saying that it is a time ‘to wash my feet’. He told me to wash others’ feet about 6-7years ago, which means serving others as Jesus’ example.

When I didn’t know how much it would cost for doing an IBC in Hawaii for 3months, I was delighted in this idea. However, I started doubting and struggling in this idea as soon as I knew how much it would cost. I guess that it isn't too expensive for some people in the world, but it is definitely too much for a missionary like me. I have tried to run away from this idea and even dropped the idea to go until a week ago, even if He has given me so many confirmations and help to be able to go to Hawaii.

It was the day after my birthday last week that I knew that I had to pick it up again because my application to do the school got through and got accepted by the school, even if I haven’t finished completing the application, which I told Him that I would go if it happens like that.

I still don’t feel like shouting in a great joy because I am going to Hawaii to do the school in spite of How God has been showing me that He has been taking care of me in this. Maybe it is a too big present for me to get what it is, so it might be taking some time for me to get it as a gift from God.

Nonetheless, I know that it is definitely a gift from Him who desires to pour out His love on me. So I know that I should act on receiving this gift. I can finally say that I am going to Hawaii to do this IBC in January 2010.

This is a just perfect timing to see and meditate on that The Gift of GOD and from God, JESUS, is something like that it is really difficult to receive as a free gift to us because it is just too big to get what it means or is to us. YES! Jesus is The greatest gift in the world to everyone who receives!! So, all I can say now is “Thank you God for all your generosity and wonderful loving acts”.

I would like to ask you to join me in this prayer;

Oh Lord, I pray that everyone on the earth would recognize more of Your Name, JESUS, on your Birthday, this Christmas, than the name of Santa clause or something else. I pray that people would meditate on the meaning of true gift on the Christmas day as they share presents and blessings to their family and friends.

And I would also like to pray for those who don’t have a warm family, friends, and money to celebrate this day. Let them find YOU and receive YOU as the greatest gift in their life.

Wondering about spiritual warfare?

3 Crucial questions about Spiritual Warfare by Clinton E. Arnold.

I have just finished reading this book and felt that this book should be read by many other Christians since it has helped me greatly in getting better understanding about spiritual warfare area and it seems very sounded and balanced in his argument.
The writer of this book is trying to answer to 3 questions based on thorough biblical search and early church history.

The questions dealt on this book are below:
1. What is spiritual warfare?
2. Can a Christian be demon-possessed?
3. Are we called to engage territorial spirits?

One thing that I especially like about the way he approaches in his book is that he strives for unity in a body of Christ.
I would like to quote a part of his book here:
"My prayer is that mission boards and churches will keep this issue in proper perspective and not sever relationships over this issue. My hope would also be that the overzealous would recognize that there is little biblical, theological, or historical support for direct engagement with the so-called territorial spirits and that they would modify their practices accordingly. I would also hope that skeptical and complacent believers would recognize that the Christian life is a supernatural struggle that can only be lived by the power of the Spirit of God. This is particularly true when we endeavor to obey Christ by reaching out to the lost."

The Lord's supper in 1Corinthians 11

ESV;
1Co 11:20 When you come together, it is not the Lord's supper that you eat.
1Co 11:21 For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal. One goes hungry, another gets drunk.
1Co 11:22 What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not.
1Co 11:23 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread,
1Co 11:24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me."
1Co 11:25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me."
1Co 11:26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.
1Co 11:27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord.
1Co 11:28 Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup.
1Co 11:29 For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself.

This passage is often used for communion ceremony in the churches, which I have been told that I had to not take this if my heart is unworthy, but I didn't know what the meaning of unworthy is exactly. I always had to check my heart if I had a doubt or unbelief in my heart about Jesus or if I have ever sinned unconsciously.

Joel Roth from Switzerland has just taught today about this passage in our class. As he looked through the context of it, I could see what Paul is really saying when he mentioned about an unworthy manner. 1Co 11:21-22 shows that there was some problem when they got together in their eating and drinking manner, which some of them got much while some of them got hungry. Paul's expression toward this manner was somewhat emotional to me when I look at the verse 22. Maybe his emotion expression almost came out of godly anger?
In this context, the body in verse 29 seems the body of Christ, church to me. So it seems that Paul strongly warns the church to look after each other. It is not too strange if I think about their culture at that time, since many people in the 1st century were influenced by the philosophical thought that the poor and rich were destined to be like that.
One of main themes of 1Corinthians is doing everything in love.

I thought that it was so refreshing to look at the Lord's supper in the right context.
Maybe I should start checking the body of Christ, members of the church if they are doing well a bit more than checking my heart too much.

There have been sooooooo many things happened while visiting Korea! So, I recognize that my blog hasn't been updated so much.

The photo here was taken from a photo shop with one of my sisters who has just got married on August. It was a day before she was getting married and she was trying on different wedding dresses. Many people say that we don't look a like at all, but we are sisters. :)

It was wonderful to be at her wedding. And I had some chance to get to know my new brother in law before coming back to Sweden, which was very nice.

Besides this event, I found out that I had cancer on my Thyroid. So, I had to change all plans set up before I found this out, which was crazier than I found out this cancer thingy. Hm, this wasn't pleasant experience at all. I feel like that I am still living under that condition even if the surgery went so well and cancer on Thyroid is not like another cancer, which means that it is kind of nice one not dangerous one. Nonetheless, I kinda see many different ways of impact on me due to this sickness I got.
People are saying to me that I got this sickness because I worked too much. Yes, it could be true that I misinterpreted God's calling or I have gone too far with my zeal, so I let myself work too much and i got cancer.
But, I have started struggling so much with this because I don't know how to hear God's calling for my life any more or I am afraid of figuring God's guidance. What if I again fail to hear right?
What if I go too far again even if I figured right that He has called me to do the task or to be somewhere? What if... what if... There can be a lot of questions to this.

I have recently studied the book of Acts again to teach, and I have noticed that there have been much persecution and hardships beyond great wonders and signs happened by apostles through the Holy Spirit. For instance, Stephen had been killed after his great preaching to the Jews, which resulted in great persecutions arisen among the Christians. And James one of disciples was killed by Herod, which was recorded in the book of Acts. When I traced how 12disciples had finished their lives, i found out that they all were killed somehow eventually, which made tears running on my cheek. But I have never heard that people were referring that their too much zealous heart made them to be killed.

I believe that all human beings including myself make many many mistakes in what we do since we all are sinners by nature. But I do also believe that we all are righteous by faith through what Jesus has done for us, which means our sins are forgiven by Him.
So, what I am wondering here is how come Christians would dare to accuse others so easily as saying that sicknesses or difficulties in their lives have been caused by their faults. Actually I am guilty of it as well since I have probably thought like that even if I haven't talked like that to those people who were going through difficulties. Maybe I am reaping what I have sown...

My conclusion to my wandering thought on this is that I should not focus on what I have done wrong too much but focus on what God is doing now or how He can help me to go through with this. And what I am learning here is that I am sure that people wouldn't need to hear too much accusations when they are already going through difficulties no matter what the reasons could cause them.

Lord, forgive me if there was any thought I haven't cleared out with you in this kind of thoughts.
And help me to go through this time without being too much confused or being condemned.

Branch has built me as the temple of living God!!!

...Here is a man whose name is Branch: for he shall branch out in his place, and he shall build the temple of the Lord. It is he that shall build the temple of the Lord; he shall bear royal honor, and shall sit and rule on his throne... Zechariah 6:12-13

This verse is a prediction of 1st coming of Jesus. To the Original Reader (the returned exiles) it must have meant that they should have looked up Joshua(Zechariah 6:11) as their spiritual & political leader.
Since they didn't have their own kingdom yet and they only faced the ruined Jerusalem, it must have been a great encouragement. However, perhaps this passage confused them since they also had Zerubbabel as their governor, political leader, which had been appointed by the Persian empire.
Maybe they didn't really get what it meant to them, since a King and a Priest couldn't have taken both office as one person in their understanding. The first King of Israel, Saul, tried and Uzziah another king of southern kingdome of Israel tried to take a priest role while they were in kingship and it didn't turn out good. Saul rejected and Uzziah got leperousy.

When we get a word of prophecy, it can be understood at some times but not all the time. But we recognize it afterward it really happened. Something like this, the returned exiles might have not fully understood of it.

Thankfully, we do understand of what this passage means now since it took place about 2000years ago in Jesus Christ coming.

A shoot shall come out from the stock of Jesse, and a branch shall grow out of this roots. Is 11:1
And again Isaiah says, ‘the root of Jesse shall come, the one who rises to rule the Gentiles; in him the Gentiles shall hope.’ Rom 15:12
Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? 1Cor 3:16
For we are the temple of the living God; 2Cor 6:16

Therefore, this means a lot for us that Jesus has built us as a temple of God, so that His Spirit can live in our human being and that Jesus is the King who rules in us.
Jesus is The King in me that I should look up to and honor. And not only He is my King but also He is the High Priest, who cleanses my sins daily bases.
What a great thing to think about … It is just something beyond my understanding. Oh, Jesus, you are my king & priest so I surrender all kind of plans and expectations to you that you could sort things out in me and I do see that I can come to you everyday with my sins as expecting that you would clean my sins everytimes I confess because you have paid the price of my sins once for all.

Jesus, help me to remember this, so that I don't forget to come to You to be cleansed every moment and everyday and to be guided by You.

God's sovereignty v.s freewill

Can one of them be over power than the other?
No! If it is, the meaning of the other will be meaningless or disappeared...

It is so interesting subject since no one really can figure this out so clearly since God's sovereignty and freewill of human being seem a paradox. It seems that these are going toward two opposite sides, which pushes away each other. However, I am thinking that it might be actually not running away from each other but it goes toward the same direction but not meet each other just like the rail of train. Just as without one side of train rail the train can not function, relationship with God doesn't function with only one side of either God's sovereignty or freewill in our Christian belief system.

Theism believes that God interacts with His creation, human being while Deism believe that God doesn't interact with His creation but leaves it as a machine automatically work.
Since I am a believer of Theism, I do see a great value in this faith that God's sovereignty and my freewill go hand in hand in my life.

He knows my future and best but He allows me to do things with my own strength unless I go totally off. I also believe that He wants us to ask Him for help and discuss things with Him and He even wants to work together with us, which is why God wants us to pray.
I see that Intercession is not about changing God's mind but about having a relationship with God, getting His heart and working with Him together. I see that is why God takes great delight in our prayers and loves to wait until we join in His works, so that we could feel being part of what He is doing. God can do things without our help because He is all knowing and almighty but choose not to do things alone because He is a relational and personal God.

I see that there is still a lot of questions that I can not understand in this matter because of my little mind, however, I am really thrilled to recognize that all knowing God wants me to make choices by my own because He wants me to love Him back with my own choice.
His desire for having personal relationship with me is beyond my understanding but it is very attractive to me.

Who God is in the book of Amos...

The prophet Amos reminds people of Israel of whom they are dealing with in the covenant they made. When he was speaking this prophecy to Israel, they were pretty doing well under Jeroboabm II. Extended border of Israel up to Damascus and Hamath caused them to think themselves that they are strong. They also got richer in their society during this time.

The sad thing is that Israel wasn't really walking according to the covenant made between them and God. They were not only serving other gods and idols as well as serving God, but also totally forgetting how God asked them to live with each other, which is clearly stated in the laws. Injustice was everywhere among the rulers, the rich, and religious leaders.
Oppressing the poor, bribe, violence, and so on. Amos pronounced the word of Judgment to the people of Israel since they were just not doing things right but only evil.

For lo, the one who forms the mountains, creates the wind, reveals his thoughts to mortals, makes the morning darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth
– the Lord, the God of hosts, is his name! Amos 4:13

The one who made the Pleiades and Orion, and turns deep darkness into the morning, and darkens the day into night, who calls for the waters of the sea, and pours them out on the surface of the earth, the Lord is his name, who makes destruction flash out against the strong, so that destruction comes upon the fortress. Amos 5:8

The Lord, God of hosts, he who touches the earth and it melts, and all who live in it mourn, and all of it rises like the Nile, and sinks again, like the Nile of Egypt; who builds his upper chambers in the heavens, and founds his vault upon the earth; who calls for the waters of the sea, and pours them out upon the surface of the earth – the Lord is his name. Amos 9:5

Amos has described who God is in a marvellous way although it was probably supposed to bring a strong warning to Israel as a reminder that they do need to remember who they have made their covenant with. And this God is calling them to repentance as Amos repeated this 4times; Seek good and not evil, that you may live; and so the LORD, the God of hosts, will be with you, just as you have said. Amos 5:14
As far as I have noticed through studying the books of prophets, The word of Judgment prophets pronounced was for repentance eventually that they could come back to God and live according to His standards, stated in the laws.

So there is always God's love behind all the warnings and judgment words. His love and justice shouts to our very heart strongly through the words of Amos. There is no way we could hide our inner secret thought from Him and there is no way we can pretend that we haven't heard anything or we didn't know since He just knows our inner thought and heart. He is the one who created the earth and heaven including myself… God is the most powerful and all knowing.
The book of Amos seems talking to me like this; 'Repent from your evil thought/ your evil desire/ your evil actions – not caring for the weak and the poor… not having justice… God sees all…'

Thank you, Holy Spirit, who lives in us and teach us and correct us to live right. Thank you Jesus through you there is always hope of restoration in me.

Saul rejected while David loved?

I have just finished teaching on the books of Samuel today. Good feeling to finish something. No matter of how it went. It has been taught me of what kind of heart God is seeking after though through preparation time.
I had to ask God of what was difference between Saul and David's heart. The stories in the books of Samuel imply things that I could kind of recognize that David was always quick to repent when he sinned and he depended on God so much. But It wasn't enough for me to grasph the big difference between them that would make me agree with what Saul got eventually was clearly that he deserved. When I tried to compare between Saul and David, I have noticed that Saul made many mistakes as well as David. And Saul was anointed by God just as David was anointed by Him. Saul was used by Him greatly once and so was David.
Is the true repentance the thing that God saw a difference between David and Saul? Is that enough for God to reject one while accept the other? I started wondering this in my mind and had to ask God to help me to understand in this area a bit better.
As far as I believe, God has helped me to get some persepective on this question. I have recognized that there is something more than that. I mean more explanation or persepect for that. I think that God has given both of them the same opportunity and same love.
But, Saul wasn't really receiving His love the way God expected, while David was.
Through the books of Samuel, I could recognize David's great love for God, while I couldn't see any passage or story indicating of Saul's love toward Him. God loved both, but only one loved him back. In a way, I could even say that Saul rejected God as choosing not to love Him back. So It was actually not God who rejected Saul but Saul rejected God's love.

This thought strucked my heart and made me recognize that I have been actually breaking God's heart. God loves me so much and He wants me to love Him back as choosing to do things in His heart instead of doing things out of responsibility or feeling of obilgation.
I repented for it and expressed my heart so longing for being in His presence.

I feel stuck like this photo.

I don't know why I feel this way latey but I just know this isn't normal. I feel like that I have been trying to find an answer, yet I am stuck instead of finding it. Hm, it is tiring for me to keep asking God for giving me some answer.
Why cannot I get an answer to my questions so easily? Why cannot I just go for it without asking too many questions? Is this time that I just need to decide and act instead of waiting for an answer? Is this time that people usually say a wilderness experience? How can the wilderness experience be defined? Am I like people of Israel in wilderness for 40years?
I might be... since I have found myself complaining so much lately. I am just sick of myself that I keep falling into unbelief again and again inspite of how much God has shown me His great mercy and love. It should be time for me to trust Him fully but I am still worried about so many things. When I finally realized that I just need some paitence and trust God in a certain issue, I thought that my faith has been raised up pretty much and didn't expect that I will fall again with unbelief in another issue. That is why I think that I am just like people of Israel in wilderness, which is written in the book of Numbers. They had kept complaining as saying that there is no water to drink, no food to eat, and no meat to eat after one by one God had fulfilled their all needs. When I read this story of Israel in the book of Numbers, I was thinking that it was just too tidious of how Israel responded back to Him. It seemed that they had never learned their lessons, which was not so difficult to learn. Why did they keep forgetting of How God provided all their needs and complaining as thinking that God brought them out of Egypt slavery to harm them. What an unbelievable response!!
They responded badlly back toward God's goodness & Love for them.

Great! This is just what I have been doing... I have been acting like this people whom I judged as hopeless people. Oh, no... I am hopeless.
Hm, One thing different compare to the Israelites is that I have Holy Spirit in me, who interceds. I will ask Him to remind me of what Jesus has done on the cross, so that I could look at Him for Hope that is coming and I could have boldness to lean on my good Father God as if I am pure before Him. Yes! I have this hope and boldness, which helps me not to beat myself too much but get over from self hatress. I know that God wants me to love myself because He loves me soooo much.

Hope that I can get through this time of wilderness well that I could learn something out of it.

Welcome to Charityseoland!

Yes!
People have their own lands so many times. So, we can totally misunderstand eacth other easily if (perhaps when) we don't really know which kind of land they are actually living in.
Unless we do communicate with each other again and again, we will not know what they think and why they are acting like that. That is why good communication is so important to work or live together welll in a society. But it seems that people are just simply not the same in their communication becasue they all live in a different land.
That is why we often misunderstand of what their intention or heart is behind of what they are doing. I found myself being totally lost from time to time just because I don't recognize the land they are living in.
So, I am hoping that this blog can be a good start for myself to share with my friends a little bit of which kind of land I am in. My land can be moving around slowly as time goes. Hoping that it can be changed into good and better though. I like to hope because there will be no real life without hope.