I had to ask God of what was difference between Saul and David's heart. The stories in the books of Samuel imply things that I could kind of recognize that David was always quick to repent when he sinned and he depended on God so much. But It wasn't enough for me to grasph the big difference between them that would make me agree with what Saul got eventually was clearly that he deserved. When I tried to compare between Saul and David, I have noticed that Saul made many mistakes as well as David. And Saul was anointed by God just as David was anointed by Him. Saul was used by Him greatly once and so was David.
Is the true repentance the thing that God saw a difference between David and Saul? Is that enough for God to reject one while accept the other? I started wondering this in my mind and had to ask God to help me to understand in this area a bit better.
As far as I believe, God has helped me to get some persepective on this question. I have recognized that there is something more than that. I mean more explanation or persepect for that. I think that God has given both of them the same opportunity and same love.
But, Saul wasn't really receiving His love the way God expected, while David was.
Through the books of Samuel, I could recognize David's great love for God, while I couldn't see any passage or story indicating of Saul's love toward Him. God loved both, but only one loved him back. In a way, I could even say that Saul rejected God as choosing not to love Him back. So It was actually not God who rejected Saul but Saul rejected God's love.
This thought strucked my heart and made me recognize that I have been actually breaking God's heart. God loves me so much and He wants me to love Him back as choosing to do things in His heart instead of doing things out of responsibility or feeling of obilgation.
I repented for it and expressed my heart so longing for being in His presence.
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